Twilight Coven Philippines

Twilight Gay 01: Meet TCP's Newest Blogger

In case the title isn't enough of a giveaway for you, let me explain the whole conceit behind this... this thing that we will be sharing, Dear Reader. I'm a gay guy who reads the Twilight Series, and if your support (and site hits!) permit, you'll be reading my thoughts on the matter… on a regular basis.

Of course, this idea borrows heavily from Twilight Guy, a straight guy who purportedly reads the series for "research purposes". He's extremely popular, something which can be attributed to the fact that 1. he's a freaking straight guy reading Twilight and 2. he's reasonably attractive. Kinda like Josh Peck from Drake and Josh when he got all thin.

What? You all were thinking it.

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I had already heard rumblings from the Internet about the awfulness that Twilight had on offer, from assertions that even fan fiction is better written than this tripe, to the rabid hate that springs so easily from the people who've read New Moon and lived to rant about it. Each and every missive were like large neon red signs telling me not to enter the sparkly domain of Forks, Washington and the convoluted lives of its clumsy, emo teenagers.

But as my undying love for Temptation Island clearly illustrates, those same reviews sucked me right in, making me buy all three books in the series, expecting that There Will Be Blood. But even then it would be weeks before I actually began to read "Twilight", and only because I had to interview the lovely ladies from Twilight Coven Philippines for my day job. When I got to the part where Edward declares that he has had it with being good, I knew right then and there that I was done for.

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Just like Twilight Guy, I really wouldn't call myself a Twihard. I have read all the books, and I sorta, kinda like them, but not exactly for the reasons that you might think. It's no secret that the Twilight series, despite its immense popularity, has a lot of faults – some of which I'll be talking about in future installments -- and most "serious" readers would rather be caught doing something illegal with a goat and a traffic cone rather than admit that they hold Twilight and its sparkly contents close to their heart.

While I'm not a "serious" reader, those who know me would never really expect me to lug around Twilight, much less read it in public. Woolf? Yes. Vonnegut? Absolutely. Colette? Definitely. But the Sparkly Prince of the Undead? Not in a thousand years.

In that respect (and I can't believe I'm actually typing this), liking Twilight is like the closeted gay jock falling in love with the ostracized out gay goth boy. He makes fun of the make-up, the fey demeanor, the embarrassing tendency to sparkle. He maybe even beats him up every once in a while.

But what he wants -- what he really, really wants -- in his closeted gay heart is to maybe watch a movie with gay goth boy, maybe give him a blow job in the backseat of his truck, maybe watch the sunset as they cuddle in the backseat. Then beat him up again when they meet in school because gay goth boy turned him gay.

So what you're going to be reading in the coming weeks, Dear Reader, is my slow and painful way of edging out of my Twilight-loving closet. I will beat it up a lot, I will make fun of the sparkles, I will make fun of the fact that Bella doesn't seem to have a personality outside of her relationship with Edward.

But what I really, really want is to cuddle with it, hold it furtively against my chest in the back of a moving cab, maybe give it an esteemed place by my bedside. Because for better or for worse, the sparkles have me, and it doesn't look like they're going to let me go.

- Ronald